Asking About Your Therapist's Approach

You may see terms such as psychodynamic, IFS, mindfulness-based, or attachment-focused and wonder what you would actually be doing. Would you talk about childhood? Practice an exercise? Receive advice? The same broad label can be used by therapists with different styles, so it’s reasonable to ask for a concrete explanation rather than decide based on a list.

I draw from several approaches in my practice, and I describe my style as active and collaborative. I’ll engage with you, ask questions, and offer observations while making room for your response. You don’t need to study therapy methods before contacting me. It’s my job to explain what I mean in language that connects with your questions.

A useful question is, “If I came in talking about this, how might we work with it?” You can keep the example broad: recurring conflict, difficulty making decisions, or a feeling you don’t understand. An answer won’t predict every session, but it can show how the therapist thinks and whether their way of speaking makes sense to you.

You can also ask what the therapist does when a client feels stuck. Do they offer reflections, ask more specific questions, revisit the goals, or consider a different approach? There may be several possibilities. What matters is whether you can have a clear conversation about the process rather than feel you’re supposed to trust something you don’t understand.

Perhaps you want an engaged therapist but don’t want to be told what decisions to make. You may like reflection and dislike exercises that feel scripted. Or you may be interested in a particular approach while unsure about some of its language. You can say that. Preferences help us consider fit; they don’t make you demanding.

In my sessions, we can discuss an invitation before trying it. If I suggest noticing a feeling or exploring a “part,” you can ask what I’m thinking and tell me how the suggestion lands. You can decline. I’m interested in whether the work is meaningful for you, not whether you can perform a method correctly or agree with every interpretation.

An approach should remain connected to why you sought therapy. You might ask how we’ll revisit your hopes, what happens if sessions don’t feel useful, and whether the direction can change. Those questions help clarify how collaboration works beyond the first meeting. A thoughtful beginning includes room for later uncertainty.

No explanation can guarantee an outcome or tell us exactly how long the work will take. I can describe my perspective and hear what you’re looking for. If we begin, we can keep discussing the experience as it develops. You’re allowed to evaluate fit over time rather than treat the first decision as a commitment you can never reconsider.

I offer a complimentary 15-minute video consultation for adults and couples considering online therapy in California or Massachusetts. Bring the questions that would help you decide.

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