What Collaborative Therapy Can Look Like

You know what it’s like to live your life. I bring a therapeutic perspective, questions, and a willingness to notice things with you. Those contributions are different, and both matter. I don’t need to become the authority on your inner world for us to do meaningful work together. I also won’t assume that listening quietly is the only thing you want from me.

I’m an active therapist. I may ask you to slow down at a particular moment, offer an observation, or gently challenge a conclusion you’ve reached about yourself. You can respond honestly. If I’ve misunderstood, I want to know. Collaboration includes making room for your disagreement rather than expecting you to accept an interpretation because I’m the therapist.

Perhaps you arrive wanting to talk about a difficult week at work. As you describe it, we notice how quickly you dismiss your own frustration. I might ask whether that feels familiar elsewhere. You might find the connection useful, or tell me that you’d rather stay with the immediate situation today. That exchange helps us choose where to put our attention.

Some sessions may be more exploratory; others may focus closely on a question you brought. We can talk about the balance you prefer. If you want more structure, you can say so. If a plan feels too narrow for what’s happening in your life, that belongs in the conversation too. There isn’t one correct way to participate in every session.

An exercise or question should not feel like a mysterious requirement. You can ask, “What are we looking for here?” or “How does this connect with what I wanted help with?” I can explain what I’m thinking, and we can consider whether it fits. Asking for that explanation doesn’t interrupt therapy. It gives us a chance to work with more shared understanding.

You can also decline an invitation. Maybe you don’t want to focus on a particular memory, or a way of speaking about your experience doesn’t feel right. We can explore your preference without turning every no into resistance. There may be useful feelings around a decision, but your participation shouldn’t depend on agreeing to whatever I suggest.

You may notice changes outside sessions, or feel that we keep circling the same topic. You might value having a place to reflect and still want something different from our conversations. We can make time to discuss that. Useful feedback can be as simple as, “I leave with a lot to think about, but I’m not sure how it connects to my week.”

Collaboration doesn’t guarantee that every session feels easy or that I’ll always get it right. It means we have an ongoing conversation about the work, including pace, direction, and fit. You don’t have to take care of my reaction by telling me everything is helpful. I’d rather we understand what is and isn’t working than continue on assumptions.

A complimentary 15-minute video consultation is a chance to ask about my style. I work online with adults and couples in California and Massachusetts.

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Online in California and Massachusetts.