Attachment-Focused Therapy and Couples Therapy

An attachment-focused perspective considers experiences of closeness, trust, dependence, and connection. We may explore what you expect from other people and how you respond when connection feels uncertain. Couples therapy involves partners working with a therapist on their relationship. A couples therapist may draw on attachment ideas, but the format itself doesn’t tell you every approach they use.

You don’t have to be in a couple to explore attachment-related questions. You might be single, dating, navigating friendships, or thinking about family relationships. You also don’t need to identify with an attachment label before discussing a pattern. A specific experience (like wanting reassurance and feeling embarrassed to ask) often gives us more to work with than a category.

In individual therapy, we can focus on your experience of relationships, including feelings you may not yet know how to explain to another person. Perhaps you pull away when someone wants more closeness, or become preoccupied when a reply takes longer than expected. I’d want to understand the situation, the meaning it has for you, and what you’ve learned to expect from connection.

This isn’t about deciding that your relationship difficulties are all inside you. Other people’s actions and the context of a relationship matter. We can distinguish your fears or expectations from what is actually happening, while leaving room for uncertainty. Individual work also doesn’t let us know what an absent partner truly thinks. We can explore your perspective without pretending it is the whole relationship.

In couples therapy, there is room to hear both partners’ experiences and observe how you respond to one another. You may describe the same exchange very differently. We can slow it down and ask what each person was hoping for, what they heard, and what happened next. The work is more than determining who described the facts correctly.

Choosing a couples format should involve considering whether it’s appropriate for your circumstances. If there is fear, coercion, or concern about what will happen after speaking openly, say so during a private consultation. We shouldn’t assume joint conversations are the right setting for every relationship. An introductory discussion is a chance to explore fit, not a commitment to a particular form of treatment.

I work with individuals and couples, and attachment-focused ideas are part of how I understand relationships. That doesn’t mean I’ll reduce you to a style or treat a label as a prediction of your future. I’m interested in the actual ways you seek closeness, protect yourself, and respond to the people who matter to you.

If you’re unsure about individual or couples therapy, we can talk about what you hope will feel different and whose participation is needed for that work. You may want space to understand your own reactions before deciding anything with a partner. Or you may both want help with a recurring interaction. We can discuss those goals without assuming one format is more advanced or more valuable.

I offer online individual and couples therapy in California and Massachusetts. You can request a complimentary consultation to discuss the relationship questions you’re bringing and the format that may fit.

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Online in California and Massachusetts.