Guides
Thinking about switching therapists?
Wanting a different therapist isn’t a failure, and it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you. Sometimes it just means the fit isn’t right.
Starting therapy
Maybe you’ve been going for months and still aren’t sure what you’re working on. Maybe you like your therapist as a person but leave most sessions feeling exactly the way you arrived. Or maybe something just feels off and you can’t quite name it. Whatever brought you to this page, you’re allowed to want something different from your therapy.
Signs it might be time for a change
Therapy isn’t always comfortable, and feeling challenged isn’t a reason to leave. But some signs are worth taking seriously. You might notice:
- You don’t feel heard, or you leave sessions feeling judged
- There’s no sense of direction, even after a good stretch of time
- You catch yourself editing what you say to manage their reaction
- Your goals have changed, and the approach no longer fits them
The question I get asked a lot
One of the questions on my FAQ comes straight from this territory: “My last therapist just let me yap for 45 minutes and it wasn’t helpful. Are you going to do that?” My answer is always the same. Absolutely not!
Listening matters, of course. But if you’re looking for more than a sympathetic ear—someone who’ll notice patterns, ask harder questions and help you make sense of what you’re saying—it’s reasonable to look for a therapist who works that way.
Try naming it first, if you can
If it feels safe enough, it can be worth raising your doubts with your current therapist before you go. A good therapist won’t be offended. They may be able to adjust their approach, or the conversation itself may show you something useful about how you handle disappointment or conflict—very good therapy material, as it happens.
Sometimes, though, that conversation isn’t possible, or it doesn’t change anything, and that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting a better fit.
What an active therapist looks like
I describe myself as an active therapist, and it’s worth explaining what that means. I’ll engage with you, challenge you, and guide our sessions rather than sitting back and waiting. I’d like you to leave each session having learned something new about yourself, even if it’s small.
At the same time, you’re the expert of your own life, so the work is always collaborative. We’ll decide together what to focus on, check in regularly about whether it’s helping, and change course if it isn’t. You can read more about how that plays out on my approach page.
Making the switch
The practical side is simpler than it might feel. You can end therapy at any time. If you’d like, ask your current therapist for a closing session, which can be a surprisingly useful way to take stock of what you’ve learned, and you can usually request a copy of your records. My own practice policies explain how I handle both.
With a new therapist, it helps to bring what you learned from the last experience: what worked, what didn’t, and what you wished had happened. That isn’t complaining. It’s useful information, and it helps a new therapist avoid repeating the same pattern.
If you’re considering working with me, we’ll start with a free 15-minute consultation by video. Tell me what hasn’t worked before and what you’re hoping for this time—I’d genuinely like to know. When you’re ready, you can send me a short note to set up a time.
A few common questions
Is it normal to switch therapists?
Yes. Fit matters enormously in therapy, and it’s common to try more than one person before finding the right one. Switching doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.
Do I have to tell my current therapist why I’m leaving?
You don’t have to, though it can be helpful if it feels safe. Even a short conversation, or a closing session, can give you a clearer sense of what you want next.
Will I have to start over from the beginning?
Not entirely. You’ll bring everything you’ve learned with you, and a new therapist will want to hear about it. Some ground will be covered again, but with fresh eyes, which can be useful in itself. My guide on finding the right therapist has a few questions worth asking this time around.