Specialties
Self-Esteem & Identity Work
When your confidence rises and falls with other people’s opinions, and you’re not entirely sure who you are underneath the roles you play.
Virtual therapy, California and Massachusetts
Self-esteem is rarely just about liking yourself more. It’s usually tangled up with older questions—whether you were allowed to take up space, whose approval mattered most, what you had to become to be loved or simply left alone. So when someone tells you to “just be more confident,” it can land a bit like being told to grow taller.
Identity sits right alongside it. Who you are with your family, at work, in your relationships and in your own company can feel like four different people, and that isn’t a flaw in you. We’ll get curious about all of them, including the parts of you that doubt everything, and look for the steadier sense of self that’s been there underneath the noise.
Why confidence advice rarely sticks
Affirmations, pep talks and power poses tend to bounce off for a simple reason: they argue with a part of you that has its reasons. If self-doubt once kept you safe—by keeping you small, agreeable or one step ahead of criticism—it isn’t going to stand down just because you told it to. In Internal Family Systems we’d call that a protective part, and protective parts don’t respond well to being shouted down.
So rather than trying to overpower the doubt, we’ll get to know it. What is it afraid would happen if you trusted yourself? Whose voice does it borrow? When did it first show up? Questions like these can open up far more than positive thinking ever did, and my page on Internal Family Systems explains more about how this kind of work unfolds.
Identity, in all its layers
Identity isn’t one thing. It’s your culture and family history, your gender and sexuality, your body, your relationships and your work, the roles you were handed early and the ones you chose for yourself. Sometimes those pieces sit comfortably together. Often there’s friction—a version of you that thrives in one setting and has no place in another, or a role you outgrew years ago and keep performing anyway.
Sometimes identity work is about something specific: a career that no longer fits, a relationship ending, coming out, becoming a parent, building a life far from where you grew up. Sometimes it’s quieter, a sense of not quite knowing who you are once the to-do list is done. Both belong here. If questions about sexuality or gender are part of it, my LGBTQIA+ safe space page says more about how I hold that work.
Where I stand in this
I’m open with you about my own identity—I’m a Los Angeles native, and a White, cis-gendered (she/her) clinician—because what I carry into the room shapes what I notice and what I might miss. If something about who I am gets in the way, I’d genuinely rather you said so than quietly decided it wasn’t worth raising.
I work with people of all races, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and backgrounds, and I aim to create a space where you can bring your full self without having to explain, minimize, or defend who you are. You are the expert of your own life. My job isn’t to tell you who to be—it’s to help you hear yourself more clearly.
What our work together can look like
Sessions are 45 minutes, weekly or every other week, entirely by video. Early on we’ll map the territory: where the doubt is loudest, which relationships leave you feeling most and least like yourself, and what you’d like to feel instead. From there the work tends to move between the present and the past—what happened this week, and why it hit the way it did.
I’m an active therapist, and I’ll be part of the conversation rather than a quiet observer of it. I’ll reflect what I notice, ask questions that might feel a little pointed, and help you slow down when the critic speeds up. If people-pleasing is part of the picture, my page on people-pleasing and boundaries goes deeper, and if the doubt tends to show up as relentless standards, high-achieving and perfectionism burnout may feel familiar too.
If any of this sounds like you, you’re welcome to request a free 15-minute consultation. It’s a short video call to talk about what’s brought you here and whether working together feels right.
A few common questions
Can therapy actually help with low self-esteem?
It can, though not by handing you confidence. Therapy gives you room to understand where the doubt came from and what it’s been protecting, and that understanding can loosen its grip in a way willpower rarely does. How that unfolds is different for everyone, and we’ll go at a pace that feels right to you.
Do I need a specific identity question to start?
Not at all. You might have a clear question about a career, a relationship, coming out, or two cultures you feel caught between. Or you might just feel unsure of yourself and not know why. Either is reason enough to begin.
Is this work available online?
Yes—all of my work is by secure video, for adults who are physically located in California or Massachusetts at the time of our session. You’ll need a private space and a reliable connection, and that’s about it.
How we work with this
This most often sits inside individual therapy. 45 minute sessions, weekly or every other week, entirely by video.
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